Cause {Can’t Resist}

Okay. I’m gonna post this as an addendum to my New Year’s “Loser” essay. I believe that every young guy like myself who struggles with finding that “right girl” should read and re-read this immediately. Then go out into the world, drop your sense of self-pity and loathing, and create your own fuckin’ brand of awesomeness. End of Story.

I’m writing to sincere, awkward-feeling guys looking at this book. I can symphathize with you because I once bought and read a book like this 20 years ago when I was lonely, poor, uneducated, skinny, and unconfident. Looking back, that book didn’t really do much to help me. However, I can say that now I’m: happily married (10 yrs+) to a teen beauty queen (she’s in her 30’s now) from a multi-millionaire family, have 2 kids, moderately well-off financially, PhD in engineering, 6′ 3″ 245 lb muscled physique, and happy about life. The key is that the first two came only after latter four were accomplished!

More useful than these types of books were some ancedotes regarding women told to me by my grandmother and by my father. I remember mentioning my nervousness regarding girls I liked, to which my grandmother somewhat laughingly replied, “You have a sister you talk with all the time, don’t you? Girls you date aren’t much different than her.” I remember in high school complaining to my father about how girls were only interested in guys with fast cars, and money, and were great atheletes. He (who had a PhD in Biology) said, “That’s how the world works; a girl is looking — even if unconsciously — for a situation to successfully raise her children (even those children yet to be born). So why wouldn’t she look for money, strength, and looks? Female birds select the male with the best territory and with the best coloring. The doe looks for the buck with the best antler rack and physical stength who will best be able to fend off wolves. And so on…” That set me on a mission lasting about 10 years in which I didn’t do that much dating, but simply improved myself.

How to Succeed With Women? Go spend 5+ years and be successful in something you passionately love, get in good health and physical shape, practice conservative finances (see Dave Ramsey’s book “Financial Peace” or similar), and you’ll create an attitude and lifestyle (ie, the male bird’s superior territory) which will ATTRACT the best women, and more than you’ll want.

The “fast food, I-want-it-now without-any-work” philosophy is destroying America. Go improve yourself and do the work that will make you attractive to a fine women and forget the “lines” and “attitude” that only make you look like a croaking bullfrog.

– From an older guy …

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)

los·er /ˈluzər/ Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunciation[loo-zer] Pronunciation Key – Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun

1. A person who is fully able to live their life happily without the thought of what others may think.

New Year’s is always an interesting time of year. One always has the sense that one should seek to change or, at least, significantly take up a new challenge that will redefine who we are as individuals. Or, if one were to have attended one of the many parties on Sunset Blvd. in Los Angeles, it is the desperate need to find a girl to make out and/or hook up with by 2AM last call.

Having the world’s worst case of the flu and choosing to do shots of, not penicillin, but of Crown Royal, 복분자 (Bokbunja), and Yogurt/Peach 소주 (Soju) two nights in a row is probably never the wisest thing to do, but . . . it’s who I am damnit!!! In addition to that, I realized that it’s actually quite easy to be happy in most circumstances, it’s just that we’re usually too self-conscious to really do that which we really feel most comfortable doing, both in life and in everyday scenarios.

To not care about what other people think is honestly what being a loser is all about. To be watching the Director’s Cut of Donnie Darko while writing in one’s blog at 5AM in morning after partying all night is what being a loser is all about. To not care about dying alone, poor, drunk and hated by all those who have ever crossed your path is truly what being a loser is all about.

As a “certified” loser who stood in the middle of the dance floor while rocking out to Michael Jackson’s “Billy Jean” and watching every other heterosexual guy in the restaurant either groping the drunkest girl they could find, desperately trying to add as many new phone numbers into their Motorola RAZR (or for the ultra-hip i.e. fobby, Helio) cell phone directories, or just standing depressingly on the sidelines with a bruised Red Bull & Vodka in one hand and a bruised ego in the other . . . .I realized one simple thing on January 1, 2007:

Life can be very enjoyable when one simply doesn’t give a fuck.

I’d like to thank the awesome staff @ Sushi Dan on Sunset Blvd for throwing a kickass New Year’s Bash. I have a slight feeling that 3/4 of you guys are not Japanese but in fact Korean guys paying the bills by working in a white-washed Japanese restaurant (where most of the patrons can’t tell the difference), just so you can be discovered and be a Korean actor/actress playing a Japanese character in a white-washed Hollywood movie (where again most of the audience can’t tell the difference).

Happy New Year’s Everybody!!!

Many young men, including myself, bemoan the fact that very few, if any, of the girls our age are willing to date their generational peers. Call it an old age stereotye. (The belief that girls mature faster the boys. Personally, I feel this is only half true. Women, generally speaking, socially mature faster than guys. Emotionally and mentally speaking, it’s sort of a toss up.)

I believe though that this is why young women generally seek to date older men, perhaps due to their inherent desire to continue their social maturation process (can you sense my ignorance?). A man who is socially and fiscally established, I’d imagine, can attract a wide variety of young women, a realization that many average looking coporate execs come to with enormous delight.

So what is it that us young, attractive, creative . . . and sadly, fiscally struggling guys left to do? Who out there will appreciate us besides the few overly-zealous high school girls who smile and wave to us on our way to work? (The unfortunate consequence of living near Newport Harbour High School.)

The Top 5 Reasons Why “30 Something” Women Are Awesome

5. Most women generally outgrow their “princess complex” by this age, so there’s little pressure on us to “take care of them,” financially speaking. A definite possiblity for a more equal/balanced relationship.

4. The ability to be taken seriously and respected for our minds and creativity . . .

3. . . . And if that doens’t work out, the ability to be appreciated for our awesome athletic bodies.

2. No game playing. Simple, honest (sometimes brutally honest), direct communication. With older women, there seems to be a quiet strength, or perhaps, a confidence in their place in the world. Without getting too esoteric, their energy is much more calm and focused.

1. Beautiful bodies. Great sex. Maybe it’s just the artist in me, but to me a curvaceous, fully matured body (like a great wine) is the ideal for beauty. Older women’s bodies are just soooo much more fun to explore than a younger woman’s. Plus, contrary to popular belief, older women generally tend to be more sensitive and in-tune with their own bodies (even if they’re a bit self-conscious about them) .

* Disclaimer – While this post was written with the best of intentions, I realize that women, regardless of age . . . can be crazy. If you’re lucky to find one who isn’t, regardless of age, cherish and value her. My views only come from the fact that my best experiences with women have been with “30 somethings” . . . and lesbians of course.

Recommended Viewing
1. アネゴ / Anego starring Shinohara Ryoko
2. おいしいプロポーズ / Oishii Proposal starring Suzuko Shiraishi
3. 내 이름은 김삼순 / My Name is Kim Sam Soon starring Kim Sun-A
4. 여우야 뮈하니 / What’s Up, Fox? starring Ko Hyun Jung